Buying a House 2021? Limit Emotional Stress During Buying Experience
Buying a house is one of the most significant decisions of your lifetime. Even in a perfect situation — a buyers market with loads of affordable houses to select from and scant competition –, it is not something to take lightly. And today’s buyers aren’t living that perfectly: Costs are rising quickly, and competition for the few houses available often contributes to bidding wars (fortunately, there are a few powerful ways to prepare for this ) — all of which may cause anxiety and stress. Do I need to sell a home?
While record-low mortgage rates make buying a house an enticing opportunity and having your place — possibly with a backyard and a pup (well-behaved, naturally!) — might seem like a dream, others are dreaming this same dream.
To top it off, the COVID-19 pandemic has attracted plenty of its psychological baggage and logistical challenges.
While not intended as medical information, Christina Koepp provides some general pointers to help prepare for the psychological journey of finding and purchasing a house.
What makes buying a house such a stressful experience?
CK: There’s almost no area of our lives that is left unaffected by such a monumental decision—deciding what community of Greater Houston to live in and buying a home taps into all parts of the mind: the basic need for shelter, the attachment needs for a safe place to connect with ourselves, family, and others, and the existential question of how our lives will look in this new place and neighborhood.
To take the risk and create an offer on the house, we will need to be prepared to attach to a different place to live and — simultaneously — hold it loosely enough that it will not be devastating to get rid of the bid. It is a narrow path of guarded optimism.
How is the present health crisis adding to these pressures?
CK: We all know that most people are more stressed and anxious At the moment at a baseline. There has been enormous and continued disruption to many lives, making it more probable that individuals will crave consistency and predictability in the place where they can create it.
You may be outbid, and you might have disagreements with your home-buying partner, etc. Suppose you are more anxious, more stressed, or undergoing disrupted sleep or low mood because of the pandemic. In that case, a significant decision like this will be compounded by those current challenges.
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How do people mentally prepare for a competitive bidding process in a competitive market?
CK: There’s a balancing act of being vulnerable enough to Envision your new life in a new place and creating new memories. — that takes risks — while balancing that with the very healthy protective impulse of not attaching entirely too early and too fast until it is assured.
It makes home-buying hard because our emotional reaction to each home is, in fact, a significant part of any decision-making procedure. You”fall in love” with each house you see, there leaves little space for discerning which is the ideal match, and you can quickly become mentally fatigued with every lost bid or opportunity.
Here are some helpful tips:
Identify your hopes, tastes, and layout design dreams in general terms. While you consider each home, ask yourself, “How will I feel if I do not get this home.” If you feel concerned about losing, talk to someone (especially the person you might be buying with) about how excited you are about the house features. Notice if you are veering into, “Only this home has this unique element!” Sticking with your overall preferences — upgraded home, architecture design, neighborhood, amenities, etc. — will help remind you that there’s more than one home where you’ll find joy and contentment.
Identify your must-haves and must not haves as clearly as you can. Narrow down before you begin your search if you are only interested in a condominium with three or more bedrooms or a home with a garage. It is easy to become trapped in a house with some great qualities, although it falls into the deal-breaker category. If you end up in this position, offer yourself the elegance; this will not always be a neat and tidy process — you get to be human in the middle of it.
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Do you have any plans or tips buyers may use on unsuccessful offer?
Give pause to reflect, then move on to the next. Sometimes everything happens for a reason. Notice what was so disappointing — did it seem to have everything you wanted? Finding a chance to feel gratitude will counter the propensity to dwell solely on what was lost. It is also useful considering if it did have everything you wanted, or — more likely — most of what you desired.
Learn from every home offer loss. In my experience, each bidding process is different; note what you’re astonished by and incorporate it into your strategy for future bids.
What general advice would you give to someone in the middle of buying a home right now?
CK: Prepare for a marathon, even if it’s only a sprint. You won’t know how long it will take to get an offer accepted. It might be a few homes you offer to purchase, and it may be 12. Having the expectations flexible and as expansive sets us up for less disappointment.
It can be easy to doubt your judgment, become angry with your home-buying partner, or becoming obsessed with house hunting. These responses are understandable! (Remember earlier when we recognized how important this decision is?) Being kind means finding ways to relax, refresh and incorporate each step on the way. This might be taking a brief break from scrolling through home listings to recenter yourself, preparing a satisfying meal following any lost opportunity, or being deliberate about getting to bed earlier, if you’re able to.
For many people, it is helpful to say out loud what is rolling around in their thoughts. Some want to write. Whatever works best for you, try to share the challenges, insights, dreams, and goals you notice. Bear in mind that you’re searching for a house during an extraordinary time, so be conscious of the additional stress that may involve. The more we’re aware of our rising wave of anxiety, the more likely we will tap into our methods to handle that stress. Reach out frequently to loved ones to maintain your alertness, energy, and perspective in keeping with your goals and hopes.
Bear in mind, these tips are intended as general guidance. If you have particular concerns, are fighting, or need assistance, contact a licensed mental health professional.
If you are ready to take another step on your home-buying journey, you’ll find information for local Agents Who can help you through the buying process and help you discover the ideal home.